so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
