I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
