And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize