marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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