I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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