Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize