you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
