I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
