very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
