making cat noises will not fix the situation.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
