If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
