i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I deserve to be covered in dicks
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
