He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
