I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
