I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
