If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
