Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
