I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
