You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
