I bet he comes in French.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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