the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
