Don't you send me to vm
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
