Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
