He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I cockslap morals
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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