I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
