I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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