i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
