3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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