Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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