Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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