talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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