....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
