in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
