He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
