and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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