I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
