It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
