dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
