Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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