He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
