at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
