WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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