i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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