I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
