WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
