Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
