my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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