THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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