Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
