Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize