is your mom at the bar?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
