That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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