That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
