hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
