I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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