I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
