4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
