I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
