Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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