are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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