just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
