So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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