Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
