Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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