idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
