Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
