There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
