the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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